I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look young for 48, run my own successful firm, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I am very busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Simply to check I wrote to fairly elderly women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every girl. Attempted all kinds of pictures. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I have had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested however they don't answer. Simply don't recognize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good friends. Lesbian dating nearby Caroline Springs VIC. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (normally 35-50) I often move past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a number of these men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line websites: you are just defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Cease Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are included primarily of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a blog for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Far too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be fine and not seem rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with way too much cleavage. Now, that is absolutely wonderful - I have no trouble at all with this, and I am sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamour shots and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just need them for sex. Lesbian dating near Caroline Springs Victoria. And while we're on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my online dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous criticism among the men I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. Lesbian Dating near Caroline Springs, Australia. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photographs, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This really is so important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to handle way too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) just serve to bolster them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Lesbian Dating near me Victoria. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photograph the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In case you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photograph, or you don't own a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.
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