Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a quality guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with way too much cleavage. Now, that's absolutely fine - I have no trouble at all with this, and I'm sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. Lesbian dating nearby Auburn VIC. And while we are on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do believe it is significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photos because many of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I don't. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photos, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. Lesbian Dating near Auburn, VIC. This really is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to deal with far too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just serve to fortify them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them. Lesbian Dating near me Auburn, VIC.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you are doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event you don't have a single friend who can take your photo, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.
I'm not the only one noticing these tendencies. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the matter of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I sensed they were genuinely nice guys. And let's just say that I was not surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of infrequently receiving emails from women, of their emails often going unanswered. I liked to catch these guys by their shoulders, and provide them a robust (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant advertising techniques. But I have consistently resisted the temptation to do so out of a fear of appearing rude and ill-mannered.
Some of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a couple gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can actually be a wonderful source of amusement, particularly if wine is included. However, what I find somewhat troubling are some rather distressing tendencies I Have noted in many men's profiles who appear to be quite regular otherwise. I do empathize, really. A lot of us are dating novices, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a particular extent, uncertain of what the other sex is searching for, or the best way to get their attention. However, these gaffes are really so clear that I believe that it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I've been a member of a well-known internet dating service for a little over a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I am happily surprised by the quality of men I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've come across a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-men-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who believed that selecting the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his photographs in a room that definitely howled "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep urge to meet a girl with young kids (preferably lads). One of my all-time favorites though was the man who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was forced to find love online (yay us!).
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