I empathize with the frustration women have experienced with online dating. I am 33 and feel like I am too old for it and have aged out of the system too, after seeing nearly all of the guys I need overlook me for women in their 20s on these websites (and no, I really don't simply hold out for 10s-even the 7s and 8s will go for the 20-somethings as well). Lesbian dating near Albert Park, Victoria. I've sometimes contemplated giving up online dating when I turn 34, since I've heard what a nightmare it is for women in the mid-30s (and have seen for myself how the interest is decreasing with each passing year). Nonetheless, I might keep at it-but just not take it so personally. Sara has the correct idea to diversify the portfolio" so to speak, with real-life meetings. I've had comparatively more success in real life (and sometimes gotten attention from quite good-looking guys who I presumed were out of my league and also would most likely have dismissed me on dating sites. But in real life social events, they've approached me because they said how they liked that I was dancing and having fun-which is hard to capture in a still photograph and a few paragraphs).
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely light and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The writers of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented theories like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Note how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer men have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. I really don't know....Am acceptable with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965.
The amusing thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular blog, I also was only able to date younger (my usual preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (thin, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I guess I'm one of the fortunate ones, but I believe it's a combo of my style, a sort of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a problem honestly.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can collect much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with replies from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to set borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will realize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can frequently behave the same way, merely wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that most folks just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Lesbian dating nearest Albert Park, Victoria. Certainly the long term prospects aren't great with a much younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it is all about a cynical cash grab, I have to tell you we older guys, like some old women entice the opposite sex. Sadly, lots of people do not bring the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. But there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly state what she offers a man (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly not one of them actually say what they offer a man. Lesbian Dating nearby Albert Park Victoria, Australia. Typically, itis a record of demands and choices. This really is not good advertising. A lady should be able to answer the question What do I provide a man he wants?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she's not ready for dating.
Kathleen, I am an elderly guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's only that all the younger men approaching mature women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They just show interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful firm, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm really active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no real dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Just to check I wrote to rather elderly women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every girl. Tried all sorts of images. Nothing. Albert Park, VIC lesbian dating. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. Lesbian dating in Albert Park, VIC. At Meetups women seem interested however they do not respond. Just do not understand this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. I have detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys desire, (normally 35-50) I regularly move past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a few of these guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a reply. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of online websites: you're only defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-complete optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Lesbian Dating near Albert Park. Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained chiefly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a site for that). So while I'm certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Much too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be fine and not appear ill-mannered, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could only no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
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