I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look youthful for 48, run my own successful business, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am very active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who've written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Just to check I wrote to fairly old women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every girl. Attempted all types of graphics. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they do not answer. Just don't understand this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good buddies. Lesbian Dating near me Pyrmont NSW. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (usually 35-50) I frequently go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a number of those guys, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desired range, I still don't get much of a response. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line sites: you are merely defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I would like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex-husband/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained primarily of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a site for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Much too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be pleasant and not appear impolite, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a good man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with far too much cleavage. Now, that is totally great - I don't have any trouble at all with this, and I am sure many guys do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamour shots and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. Lesbian Dating nearby Pyrmont, New South Wales. And while we are on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do believe it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men also, of course). The thing is, there really is not anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram photos because many of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my online dating profile? No I don't. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous gripe among the guys I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. Lesbian Dating closest to Pyrmont Australia. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photographs, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is so significant. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must handle far too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) only function to bolster them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. This list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Lesbian Dating near New South Wales. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile picture the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event you don't have a single friend who can take your picture, or you do not own a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.
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