I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem young for 48, run my own successful firm, know just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I am very active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no real dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Simply to check I wrote to rather older women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every woman. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they do not answer. Simply do not comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good pals. Female Escorts near Woodvale WA. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. I have found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (usually 35-50) I often move past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed some of these men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a reply. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of online websites: you're simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my friends/mother/ex-husband/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-complete optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Cease Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are included primarily of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite correct. Much too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be fine and not seem ill-mannered, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want a quality man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Now, that's absolutely wonderful - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I'm certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamor shots and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. Female escorts in Woodvale Western Australia. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys also, of course). The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a huge criticism among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. Female escorts near Woodvale, Australia. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet pictures, I have a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This really is so important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to manage way too many negative stereotypes, and the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) only function to augment them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, interval. Female escorts near Western Australia. Seeing a man standing next to an open bathroom, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photograph, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you likely shouldn't be dating in the first place.
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