I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am really active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Merely to check I wrote to fairly old women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every girl. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they do not answer. Just do not recognize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good friends. Female escorts nearby Upper Coomera, QLD. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. I've found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (normally 35-50) I frequently move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of those guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of online sites: you're just defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I would like to ask all my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex-husband/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained mostly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a website for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our positive expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Much too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be pleasant and not seem ill-mannered, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want an excellent guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Now, that is certainly excellent - I have no issue at all with this, and I am certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamor photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. Female Escorts near Upper Coomera, Queensland. And while we're on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do believe it's important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous complaint among the men I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. Female Escorts near Upper Coomera, Australia. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet pictures, I 've a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is so significant. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to manage far too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) merely serve to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, period. Female escorts in Queensland. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile photograph the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event you don't have a single friend who can shoot your picture, or you don't own a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.
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