I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful company, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no real dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Just to check I wrote to rather older women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they do not answer. Just do not comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good buddies. Female escorts closest to Newport NSW. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (typically 35-50) I regularly move past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of those guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line websites: you are simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex-husband/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mainly of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a blog for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Far too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be pleasant and not seem ill-mannered, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she simply couldn't trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a quality man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Now, that is totally great - I have no problem at all with this, and I am sure many guys do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamour shots and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only want them for sex. Female escorts in Newport, New South Wales. And while we are on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do believe it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). The matter is, there really is not anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. Female Escorts nearby Newport, Australia. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet photographs, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is so important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to deal with far too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) merely serve to augment them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, period. Female escorts in New South Wales. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you're doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, should you not have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photograph the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. Should you not have a single friend who can take your photo, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you likely shouldn't be dating in the first place.
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