I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful business, understand how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm really busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Just to check I wrote to quite older women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every girl. Tried all sorts of graphics. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they do not respond. Simply do not recognize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good pals. College sluts nearby Loganlea, QLD. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. I've discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (usually 35-50) I frequently go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a few of those men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a reply. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of online sites: you're just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are included mostly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a blog for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Much too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be fine and not appear rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she simply could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, after which you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Now, that is totally wonderful - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I am sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamor photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. College Sluts in Loganlea, Queensland. And while we are on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do believe it is significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an about average (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram photographs because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my online dating profile? No I don't. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge complaint among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. College sluts in Loganlea Australia. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photos, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is really important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to deal with much too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only function to strengthen them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your own bathroom mirror, interval. College sluts nearby Queensland. Seeing a guy standing next to an open bathroom, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event you don't have a single friend who can take your photograph, or you do not own a smartphone, then you probably should not be dating in the first place.
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