Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with far too much cleavage. Now, that is totally great - I have no trouble at all with this, and I am certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamour pictures and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just need them for sex. College Sluts near me Long Point, NSW. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my online dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Waaaay too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous gripe among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet pictures, I have a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. College Sluts near Long Point, NSW. This really is really important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to handle way too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) merely function to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them. College sluts nearby Long Point NSW.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a man standing next to an open bathroom, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, if you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile photo the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event that you don't have a single friend who can take your photo, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.
I'm not the sole one detecting these trends. Frequently, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I sensed they were genuinely nice guys. And let's just say that I was not surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of rarely receiving emails from women, of their emails regularly going unanswered. I wanted to catch these men by their shoulders, and give them a powerful (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant marketing techniques. But I have consistently resisted the temptation to do so from a fear of appearing rude and ill mannered.
A few of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a couple gasp-worthy photographs. These profiles can actually be a great source of entertainment, especially if wine is included. However, what I find somewhat distressing are some fairly disturbing tendencies I Have noticed in many men's profiles who seem to be quite normal otherwise. I do empathize, really. Many of us are dating beginners, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a certain extent, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or the best way to get their attention. However, these gaffes are so clear that I think it is time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I've been a member of a well-known online dating service for a little more than a year now, and I must say that, overall, I'm pleasantly surprised by the characteristic of guys I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain hopeful that eventually, I will. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I've encounter a few (hundred) profiles that totally baffle me in a these-men-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who believed that picking the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that clearly yelled "secured residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound desire to meet a woman with young kids (rather lads). One of my all-time favorites though was the man who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was driven to find love online (yay us!).
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