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Needless to say, online dating has been around for some time now. But Slater doesn't offer up much hard evidence that monogamy is truly becoming passe in this nation, other than to point out that divorce rates have improved - an oversimplification of what is occurred in the past few decades. Instead, he introduces us to Jacob, the pseudonymous thirty something schlub I alluded to above. Jacob is a dedicated Green Bay Packer's fan who is less than enthused regarding the concept of a 40-hour workweek. Casual sex nearby Rozelle Australia. He's also convinced that the persistent temptations of online dating have kept him from settling down. And other than quotations from the executives of a few assorted matchmaking sites, whose penetrations boil down to entrances that their goods are not designed to foster long term relationships, his narrative makes up the bulk of the piece.

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Dan Slater thinks you should blame the Internet. His article in this month'sAtlantic, "A Million First Dates," claims that on-line matchmaking services like OKCupid and eHarmony are really so powerful that they're obligated to infect us all with a collective case of romantic ADHD - or, as he puts it, that "the rise of online dating will mean an overall reduction in commitment." The impulse to look for "an ever-more-compatible partner with the click of a mouse" will prove so intoxicating over the long term, he writes, that it might sabotage the very beliefs of marriage and monogamy.

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Taking a moral-panic strategy to something like mobile online dating makes for a good story, but it also drowns out the opportunity for a richer conversation, and hardens certain false notions about millennial culture. Online dating definitely is altering how many people meet other folks and date and have sex. But it's likely altering their behavior in a variety of different, sometimes conflicting ways. In some instances, it's likely helping individuals find husbands and wives earlier, leading them to have fewer sex partners. In others, it probably does lead to some decision paralysis and discouragement with dating. In many cases, it likely just reinforces the user's preexisting preferences --- pro- or anti-promiscuity, pro- or anti-finding someone to settle downwith.

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But it doesn't matter whether the judgments of the study make sense" to Sales. The whole point of a large, nationally representative sample is the fact that it captures a bigger share of the graphic than more piecemeal efforts like conventional journalism. Later in her e-mail to me, Sales referenced Twenge's argument in her paper that the fear of AIDS could explain the fact that while approval of casual sex is going up, there hasn't quite been a commensurate rise in the number of people's sexual partners. This actually did not seem correct to me, either, since fear of AIDS has been much reduced by the promotion of AIDS drugs and other social variables." But again --- it doesn't matter whether or not given findings appear right" unless you can explain why the data'swrong.

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If dating culture were in fact imploding into a difficult morass of one-night-stands in any meaningful way, it'd likely show up in this type of data. But Sales addressed this study only to brush it away in a parenthetical paragraph noting the authors told her their investigation was based partially on projections derived from a statistical model, not completely from direct side by side comparisons of amounts of sex partners reported by respondents." Well, no --- there are lots of side by side comparisons in Twenge and Sherman's research, since the study is based on a survey in which the same question is asked in the same manner over the years. When it comes to projections," that just refers to the fact that the authors can not supply life numbers of sexual partners for millennials who are still very much living, so they projected that one class. It does not bear on the entire finding that there is no indication of an explosion in promiscuity. (To be fair, the paper's data ends in the year 2012, which was pre-Tinder, but well into the era of OKCupid and other internet dating services that opened up a whole new universe of sex and datingpartners.)

If anyone is equipped to answer these questions about dating and sexual mores in a more strict manner, it's the social scientists who use national surveys to study approaches and behavior change over time. In her piece, Sales cites the research of Jean Twenge, a professor at San Diego State University and the author of Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled --- and More Miserable Than Ever Before Twenge is the co-author, with Ryne Sherman of Florida Atlantic University, of a study released earlier this year in which the pair assessed the effects of the General Social Survey, a (largely) annual, nationally representative survey that's been administered for decades, between 1972 and 2012. The data, culled from between about 27,000 and 33,000 Americans (there were different numbers of answers available for distinct questions and years), showed that millennials seem to be having sex with fewer partners than the last couple generations were --- particularly, Amount of sexual partners rose steadily between the G.I.s and 1960s-produced Gen X'ers and then dipped among Millennials to return to Boomerlevels."

Tinder super-users are an important slice of the populace to study, yes, however they can't be used as a stand in for millennials" or society" or any other such comprehensive categories. Where are the 20-somethings in committed relationships in Sales' article? Where are the cumbersome, lonely young men who feel like they can not find anyone to have sex with, let alone date them? Where are the women who stay off Tinder since they do not enjoy the meat-market feel of it? Where are the men as well as women who find life partners from these programs? (Just off the very top of my head, I can think of one guy I know who met his husband on Grindr along with a woman who met her fianc on Tinder, along with innumerable long-term relationships that began on OKCupid.) Where are the many, many millennials who get married in their early or mid-20s? Reading Sales' article, you'd think Tinder had wiped out all these millennials like, well, that aforementioned asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs. However there continue to be millions of young people muddling through comparatively conventional" experiences of dating (and romanticdeprivation).

The problem is the fact that while Sales definitely spins a great yarn, it does not really add up to signs that something ground-breaking is afoot. It is one thing to write an ethnographic piece about Tinder-maters within their natural habitat; it is another to extrapolate this to make sweeping claims about the epochal manners dating and sex are shifting. This goes back to that anecdote/data thing. Drifting about and talking to folks is significant --- is, in fact, a cornerstone of journalism --- but there are inherent limitations to it. There will necessarily be some prejudice in who you speak to, or in who's willing to speak with you; in Sales' case, we hear almost exclusively from young, single people who are active (sometimes overactive) Tinder users, and nearly solely from guys who are always looking for casual sex. In other words, Sales is talking to precisely the types of people you'd expect to utilize dating programs in ways that can help them find more folks to sleep with, and then, having found that these promiscuous people utilize a promiscuity-empowering app to find other promiscuous folks to possess promiscuous sex with, reporting back to us that we're in the middle of a promiscuity-fueled dating revolution" in how individuals cope with romance and sex. This is known as confirmationbias.

Sales' account is loaded with anecdotes: There's the finance guy who claims to have slept with 30 to 40 women off Tinder in the past year; the 23-year old male model who insists that women want guys to send them cock pics (amazing narrative, bro); the sorority sisters bemoaning the very fact that college men, drenched with easy access to sex, are so poor at it; as well as the 26-year old man --- think of him as a Tinder-era Walter Sobchak --- who assures Sales that if he wanted to, he could find someone to have sex with bymidnight.

The standard approaches of dating and courtship are out; endlessly bound from fling to fling is in. And women, regardless of the supposed benefits of sexual liberation, are coming out losers in this hurried new sexual landscape --- used, then discarded in a pile of penis pics. Casual Sex nearest New South Wales. For the post, Sales ran interviews with more than 50 young women in New York, Indiana, and Delaware, aged 19 to 29," in addition to many guys, plus it adds up to a string of sleazy, depressing stories. And she is barely the very first journalist to raise this alarm: Over the past few years, reports on hookup culture" --- some focusing on alcohol and campus culture, some on technology, and some on both ---have become a thriving genre

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