I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful firm, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm very busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Just to check I wrote to fairly old women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every girl. Tried all types of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they do not answer. Simply don't understand this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good friends. Casual Sex nearest Castle Hill NSW. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. I've seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It is as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men desire, (usually 35-50) I often move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a few of these guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a reply. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of on-line websites: you're simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my friends/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised chiefly of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be fine and not seem rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she simply couldn't trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his connections to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could merely no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Now, that's completely excellent - I have no difficulty at all with this, and I'm certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor shots and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only want them for sex. Casual Sex nearby Castle Hill New South Wales. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do think it is significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys also, of course). The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about average (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram photos because lots of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. Casual sex near me Castle Hill, Australia. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photographs, I have a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so important. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to cope with far too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) just function to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. This list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Casual sex near New South Wales. Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or maybe a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something interesting (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event that you don't have a single friend who can take your picture, or you don't possess a smartphone, then you likely should not be dating in the first place.
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