I empathize with the frustration women have experienced with online dating. I'm 33 and feel like I'm too old for it and have aged out of the system too, after seeing almost all of the men I need overlook me for women in their 20s on these sites (and no, I don't only hold out for 10s-even the 7s and 8s will go for the 20-somethings as well). Casual encounters nearest Wendouree Victoria. I've sometimes considered giving up online dating when I turn 34, since I've heard what a nightmare it is for women in the mid-30s (and have seen for myself how the interest is diminishing with each passing year). However, I might keep at it-but simply not take it so personally. Sara has the right notion to diversify the portfolio" so to speak, with real-life encounters. I have had comparatively more success in real life (and sometimes gotten attention from very good looking men who I presumed were out of my league and would most likely have dismissed me on dating sites. But in real life social events, they have approached me because they said how they liked that I was dancing and having fun-which is tough to capture in a still photo as well as a couple of paragraphs).
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely mild and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this blog, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular declaration) men in my age group. The writers of the pot of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation invented theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Note how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer men have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is promptly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm very in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. I really don't know....Am ok with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was only competent to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I guess I am one of the blessed ones, but I believe it is a combo of my style, a form of God glow"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a issue frankly.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a guy can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from inferior matches they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will recognize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Clearly men can often act the same manner, just wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is the fact that many folks merely blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Casual Encounters closest to Wendouree Victoria. Sure the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it is all about a cynical money grab, I have to tell you we older men, like some older women entice the opposite sex. Sadly, many do not entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically say what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually not one of them actually say what they offer a man. Casual encounters closest to Wendouree Victoria Australia. Normally, it is a record of demands and choices. This is not great marketing. A female should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man he needs?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Kathleen, I'm an older guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It's only that all the younger men approaching mature women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They only show interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look young for 48, run my own successful firm, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am very busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Just to check I wrote to rather mature women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Attempted all kinds of pictures. Nothing. Wendouree, VIC casual encounters. while I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. Casual encounters near me Wendouree, VIC. At Meetups women look interested however they do not respond. Simply don't realize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (usually 35-50) I often move past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of these guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of on-line websites: you are merely defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Casual Encounters in Wendouree. Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised chiefly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be pleasant and not appear ill-mannered, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she simply could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
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