Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a quality man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Now, that is completely great - I have no difficulty at all with this, and I'm certain many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor photos and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. Casual Encounters nearby Bairnsdale, VIC. And while we're on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do think it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). The matter is, there really is not anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram photographs because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Waaaay too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous complaint among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photos, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. Casual Encounters near Bairnsdale, VIC. This is really important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to handle way too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only function to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them. Casual Encounters nearest Bairnsdale VIC.
Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a guy standing next to an open toilet, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the way everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you are doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, if you don't have a selfie stick, shoot your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your car. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photograph, or you do not possess a smartphone, then you probably should not be dating in the first place.
I'm not the single one finding these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I sensed they were really nice guys. And let's simply say that I wasn't surprised when they discussed their frustrations with online dating - of infrequently receiving emails from women, of their emails regularly going unanswered. I liked to grab these men by their shoulders, and give them a robust (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my suspicions about their errant promotion techniques. But I have consistently resisted the temptation to do so from a fear of appearing rude and ill mannered.
Some of these profiles represent random oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a few gasp-worthy photos. These profiles can in fact be an excellent source of entertainment, particularly if wine is involved. However, what I find somewhat troubling are some rather disturbing tendencies I Have noted in many men's profiles who appear to be quite ordinary otherwise. I do empathize, actually. Many of us are dating newcomers, jumping back in the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a particular extent, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or how exactly to get their attention. However, these gaffes are really so clear that I believe it's time someone starts a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I've been a member of a well-known online dating service for a little more than a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the characteristic of men I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I have come across a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-guys-clearly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of manner. Like the man who believed that choosing the username "Undertaker" was wise, or the guy who shot his photos in a room that definitely howled "locked residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound desire to meet a girl with young kids (preferably boys). One of my all-time favorites however was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love on-line (yay us!).
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