Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a quality guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with way too much cleavage. Now, that's completely fine - I have no problem at all with this, and I'm sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor pictures and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. Casual encounters nearby Ashfield QLD. And while we are on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely love them), but I do think it is significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). The matter is, there really is not anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photographs because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I don't. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) pictures. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous complaint among the guys I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photos, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. Casual Encounters in Ashfield QLD. This really is really important. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to manage way too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) merely function to augment them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them. Casual encounters in Ashfield, QLD.
Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can't say it any clearer than this: Do not post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, interval. Seeing a guy standing next to an open toilet, or just a toilet paper dispenser, is an immediate turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as though you are doing something enjoyable (like fishing or watching football). Or, in case you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile photograph the old fashioned way by exploiting the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your automobile. Worst comes to worst, have a friend take an action shot of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In case you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photograph, or you don't own a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.
I'm not the single one detecting these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the theme of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I've looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with some of these men because I felt they were extremely nice guys. And let us just say that I wasn't surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of seldom receiving e-mails from women, of their emails often going unanswered. I liked to grab these men by their shoulders, and give them a solid (albeit friendly) shake, while sharing my feelings about their errant marketing techniques. But I have always resisted the temptation to do so out of a fear of seeming rude and ill mannered.
Some of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising story or a couple gasp-worthy pictures. These profiles can in fact be an excellent source of entertainment, particularly when wine is included. However, what I find somewhat troubling are some rather distressing trends I've noticed in many men's profiles who seem to be fairly normal otherwise. I do empathize, really. Many of us are dating newcomers, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We are all winging it to a particular degree, uncertain of what the other sex is searching for, or the way to get their attention. But these gaffes are really so obvious that I believe that it's time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I have been a member of a well-known internet dating service for a little more than a year now, and I need to say that, overall, I'm happily surprised by the quality of guys I've met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive encounters, I've come across a few (hundred) profiles that totally baffle me in a these-men-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who believed that choosing the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his pictures in a room that definitely cried "fast residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his profound urge to meet a girl with young kids (rather lads). One of my all time favorites though was the guy who spent half his profile narrative writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love online (yay us!).
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