I empathize with the frustration women have experienced with online dating. I'm 33 and feel like I am too old for it and have aged out of the system also, after seeing almost all the men I want overlook me for women in their 20s on these websites (and no, I don't just hold out for 10s-even the 7s and 8s will go for the 20-somethings as well). Casual Encounters near Chatswood, New South Wales. I've sometimes considered giving up online dating when I turn 34, since I've heard what a nightmare it's for women in the mid-30s (and have seen for myself how the interest is decreasing with each passing year). Yet, I might keep at it-but just not take it so personally. Sara has the right notion to diversify the portfolio" so to speak, with real-life meetings. I've had relatively more success in real life (and occasionally gotten focus from really good looking guys who I presumed were out of my league and would probably have ignored me on dating sites. But in real life social events, they have approached me because they said how they liked that I was dancing and having fun-which is hard to capture in a still picture along with a couple of paragraphs).
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The authors of the pot of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation devised concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Notice how he follows up with this small gem, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer men have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm quite in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. I actually don't know....Am alright with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this site, I also was only able to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I imagine I'm one of the lucky ones, but I think it's a combo of my style, a form of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty frankly.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can assemble much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from inferior matches they become exasperated and start to establish boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Clearly men can frequently behave the same style, just wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is the fact that many folks simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
Debby, you're talking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Casual encounters near Chatswood, New South Wales. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger girl. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it is about a cynical cash grab, I must inform you we old men, like some elderly women bring the opposite sex. Regrettably, many do not bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost not one of them actually say what they provide a guy. Casual Encounters nearest Chatswood New South Wales, Australia. Generally, it is a listing of demands and preferences. This is not great marketing. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy he wants?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Kathleen, I am an older man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It is merely that all the younger guys approaching older women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in men their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful business, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm really busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no real dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Merely to check I wrote to rather elderly women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all kinds of images. Nothing. Chatswood, NSW Casual Encounters. while I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. Casual Encounters nearby Chatswood NSW. At Meetups women appear interested however they do not respond. Just do not comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am loath to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (usually 35-50) I often go past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed some of those men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of online sites: you're merely defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Casual Encounters closest to Chatswood. Quit Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised chiefly of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a website for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Way too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be pleasant and not seem rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she simply could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could only no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
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