Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want an excellent guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with way too much cleavage. Now, that's completely wonderful - I have no problem at all with this, and I am sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor shots and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. Casual Encounter nearby Granville, NSW. And while we're on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men also, of course). The matter is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram photos because many of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Waaaay too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous complaint among the guys I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photographs, I have a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. Casual encounter closest to Granville NSW. This really is really significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to manage way too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) merely function to strengthen them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them. Casual encounter nearby Granville NSW.
Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
I can not say it any clearer than this: Don't post any selfies of yourself looking into your bathroom mirror, period. Seeing a guy standing next to an open toilet, or even a toilet paper dispenser, is an instant turn off. Take a selfie the means everyone else in the world does, by using a selfie stick and pretending as even though you're doing something fun (like fishing or watching football). Or, in the event you don't have a selfie stick, take your profile picture the old fashioned way by tapping the reverse camera view on your smart phone and then snapping a selfie in your auto. Worst comes to worst, have a buddy take an action photo of you standing alone with a glass of wine pretending to laugh at someone just out of view. In the event that you don't have a single friend who can shoot your photo, or you don't own a smartphone, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.
I am not the single one finding these tendencies. Often, when I get together with my single girlfriends the issue of some men's online dating profiles is raised with a collective "what in the world were they thinking??" From time to time I Have looked past these profile peculiarities and gone out with a few of these men since I sensed they were extremely nice guys. And let us just say that I wasn't surprised when they shared their frustrations with online dating - of rarely receiving e-mails from women, of their e-mails regularly going unanswered. I wanted to catch these guys by their shoulders, and provide them a powerful (albeit friendly) handshake, while sharing my feelings about their errant promotion techniques. But I have consistently resisted the temptation to do so from a fear of appearing rude and ill mannered.
A few of these profiles represent arbitrary oddities, the one-in-a-hundred profile with an eyebrow-raising narrative or a couple gasp-worthy photos. These profiles can in fact be an excellent source of amusement, particularly when wine is included. However, what I find somewhat troubling are some fairly disturbing trends I've noticed in many men's profiles who appear to be fairly ordinary otherwise. I do empathize, really. Many of us are dating beginners, jumping back into the dating pool after years (sometimes decades) of marriage and child-rearing. We're all winging it to a certain extent, unsure of what the other sex is searching for, or the way to get their attention. But these gaffes are so obvious that I think it's time someone opens a dialogue and asks the important question: Why? No really, why?
I have been a member of a popular internet dating service for a little over a year now, and I have to say that, overall, I'm happily surprised by the characteristic of men I Have met online. While I haven't yet met "the one," I remain optimistic that eventually, I 'll. Yet despite my generally positive experiences, I have encounter a few (hundred) profiles that completely baffle me in a these-guys-certainly-were-not-raised-with-sisters-and-can't-possibly-have-any-female-friends sort of way. Like the man who thought that choosing the username "Undertaker" was a good idea, or the guy who shot his photographs in a room that definitely cried "locked residential facility." Or, the childless man who expressed his deep desire to meet a girl with young children (preferably lads). One of my all time favorites though was the man who spent half his profile story writing about how he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife, but since she wouldn't take him back, he was compelled to find love online (yay us!).
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