I empathize with the frustration women have experienced with online dating. I am 33 and feel like I am too old for it and have aged out of the system also, after seeing nearly all of the men I want overlook me for women in their 20s on these websites (and no, I don't only hold out for 10s-even the 7s and 8s will go for the 20-somethings as well). Casual encounter closest to Bella Vista New South Wales. I have sometimes contemplated giving up online dating when I turn 34, since I've heard what a nightmare it is for women in the mid-30s (and have seen for myself how the interest is declining with each passing year). Nonetheless, I might keep at it-but simply not take it so personally. Sara has the right idea to diversify the portfolio" so to speak, with real-life encounters. I have had comparatively more success in real life (and occasionally gotten attention from very good looking guys who I assumed were out of my league and would probably have blown off me on dating sites. But in real life social events, they have approached me because they said how they liked that I was dancing and having fun-which is hard to capture in a still photograph along with a couple of paragraphs).
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is completely light and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) guys in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented notions like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Notice how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer men have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he's immediately labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. I do not know....Am ok with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular website, I also was only capable to date younger (my usual preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I imagine I'm one of the lucky ones, but I think that it's a combo of my character, a form of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a problem honestly.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a guy can collect much about a woman from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with replies from poor matches they become exasperated and begin to set borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly men can often act exactly the same way, merely wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that most people simply blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
Debby, you're talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Casual encounter near Bella Vista New South Wales. Certainly the long term prospects are not great with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it is about a cynical cash grab, I have to tell you we older guys, like some elderly women attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, lots of people don't attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. But there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically say what she offers a man (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them really state what they offer a man. Casual Encounter near me Bella Vista New South Wales, Australia. Typically, it's a listing of demands and preferences. This is not great advertising. A lady must have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy he wants?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Kathleen, I'm an old man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's merely that all the younger guys approaching old women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They only show interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, look young for 48, run my own successful business, know just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm very active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no real dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Merely to check I wrote to quite older women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Attempted all kinds of pictures. Nothing. Bella Vista, NSW Casual Encounter. while I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. Casual encounter near me Bella Vista NSW. At Meetups women appear interested however they do not answer. Just do not comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men desire, (typically 35-50) I frequently go past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of those men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of on-line websites: you are simply defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
Casual encounter near me Bella Vista. Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are included chiefly of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a blog for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite correct. Way too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be fine and not seem rude, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she simply could not trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
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